Everyone of us cannot have everything. This is one fact I have learned to understand early on in my childhood. If this is because my parents taught me or because of our circumstances, I cannot trace back anymore. All I know is that there are many things I want in life but I had to wait for them to happen – some of them took many years. Here is how I see these “disadvantages” now and what I learned from them.

1. Creativity

“If I can’t buy it, I can create it.”

If I cannot have the stationery my classmates have, it’s okay. I remember my seat mate having these fragrant smooth papers where you can write letters and things. I don’t remember being sad about it or asking my Mom to buy me one but I can remember doing one for myself. I’d use my line paper, draw beautiful flowers in them, spray baby cologne and smother them with baby powder. This is still a beautiful memory. I may not have the money to buy what others had but in my eight year old brain, I was taught that there is always a way.

Today, I make my own calendars, do DIYs for my home displays, cook my own meal and still love creating things from scratch. This adds joy to life and save me a lot of bucks.

2. Patience

“Patience is a skill that brings beauty. Patience brings strength. Patience brings happiness”

ANGIE KARAN

There are things I’d really want to have but my parents don’t see the point of giving them to me. This has been particularly difficult during my teenage years because naturally, I wanted to fit in. I remember doing our group projects and my classmates would wear their elephant jeans, their cool slippers, fun accessories, and all the trendy things you can have. My mom won’t have it, she’d go for the classy all-time outfit and should stand the test of time. This forced me to learn to appreciate what I have. In fact, I grew up appreciating the classy look and in the end, it’s what I owned as my style. Nope, I don’t have old pictures wearing over-sized elephant jeans and for me, it’s a relief. This also applies to the pressure of having the cool friends or being in a relationship when you’re too young to even hold a job.

There are so many things I wished to have back then and not having everything I wanted saved me from a lot of regret. Because I don’t have everything, I have true friends and it’s not difficult to filter them. It also saved me from heartaches of being emotionally invested in puppy love stories I couldn’t even comprehend. It taught me to be clear on what really matters in life- taught me to grow up and to not stop growing.

3. Resilience

“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.” 

ROBERT JORDAN

I am the eldest and that means, I have the privilege and responsibility to help my parents when the going gets tough. When our family was hit with unemployment and health issues, I had to accept that I cannot finish my studies. This is one of the hardest thing I had to accept when I was 16 years old. Imagine a teenage girl, so idealistic and had big dreams ahead of her. Old enough to make her first steps in the real world but still too young to support her studies. My situation was not just that I cannot study anymore but because the family needs my help to survive moving forward. This taught me responsibility and to move forward despite the odds. I worked in a fast food store, endured the nagging thought of my peers moving along with their degrees, and surviving my shift everyday.

Those five months I spent working as a cashier taught me so many things in life. It taught me to deal with different people – customers, managers and colleagues. I learned the value of hard work and how hard it is to earn money. I was in a position that our life depended on what I do everyday and that life is not just about my rose-colored dreams. It taught me that life goes on and that I can adapt and come out stronger.

4. Sacrifice

“Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to.” 

MITCH ALBOM

Life is not about me. I am not the center of the universe and there is beauty and happiness that comes from putting others ahead of me. Sometimes, the reason why I cannot have everything is not just because I don’t have the means or that I was restricted from having it. There would be times that I cannot have something simply because other people may need it more than I do. If I insisted to have everything I wanted, I may have chosen a different path. I may have chosen to continue my degree and left my siblings sacrificing their own education. But despite differing opinions, sacrificing for them has proven to be a good decision. I have my family’s respect and my siblings are equipped to support themselves now. This makes me happy and peaceful. I don’t think I will have this sens of happiness if I put myself first.

We all have the privilege to put others first instead of being swallowed by this society’s “Me first” attitude. I just hope that reading this will inspire you in some way to examine your motivations in your life-defining decisions.

5. Gratitude

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

A.A. MILNE

I’ve heard from one TED talk that a defining factor for one’s happiness is not money, family life, career, etc. It is gratitude. The reverence for life, the little thank-you we whisper when someone opens the door for us, the prayers we say before we eat and the appreciation for the air we breathe and the life we live. I did not have everything growing up and I still don’t have everything I want until now. Despite this, my circumstances should not dictate how I should say my thank you for my existence and for the people around me that makes life worth living. Because I did not have everything I want right away, I learned to be thankful for the things I have now that I only dreamed of before. As a beautiful side effect, I’m happy. This may change every now and then but my life prepared me to endure and to see life as a wonderful journey.

We have different stories and we cannot have everything. But if we look ever closely, we will learn a lot today that will make a beautiful story tomorrow. ♥